And there will be no balks called against this team

Looks like pitchers' curves aren't the only ones getting Tim McCarver's attention.

Came this scouting report from the Fox baseball commentator after the network aired an NFL promo: "The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders do not use the slide step — they're all high kickers."

Eagle scouting

Michael "Eddie the Eagle" Edwards, England's infamous ski jumper at the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics, will be back in Canada in January as one of 15 internationals in the torch relay leading up to the Vancouver Games.

In a startling break with tradition, however, he won't be coming in last.

He's cutting-edge

Florida QB Tim Tebow's most untouchable career record is destined to be:

a) Most rushing touchdowns in the SEC.

b) Most votes for the Heisman Trophy.

c) Most circumcisions in the Philippines.

Law of economics

"Shaq has applied to be a deputy sheriff in Cleveland," noted Greg Cote of The Miami Herald. "Man, you know times are tough when even the superstars are getting second jobs."

Here comes the bridle

As if that picture of Alex Rodriguez kissing a mirror wasn't bad enough, now a former girlfriend tells US Weekly that the narcissistic Yankees slugger had two portraits of himself as a centaur hanging in his bedroom.

Maybe that's why he calls it the bridle suite.

Jeanne Dixon the 2nd

"Going strictly on first impressions," wrote Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, "a Fredericksburg woman and former U.Va. swimmer who is running for the U.S. House of Representatives might be just what the country needs.

"Her name is Krystal Ball."

Quote marks

• Dan Daly of the Washington Times, on that 800-mile golf course finally opening along the south Australian coast: "And let me tell ya, folks, nothing tests a golfer quite like seeing a sign that says, 'Next Port-O-Let, 62 miles.' "

• Brad Dickson in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the flu-ridden Chargers routing Kansas City 37-7 last week: "Doctors are now recommending that people with flu drink plenty of liquids, rest, and play the Chiefs."

• Jim Alexander of the Riverside (Calif.) Press-Enterprise, on L.A. fans finally getting their wish for a freeway playoff series: "Well, Chivas USA vs. Galaxy likely wasn't the first matchup that leaped to mind."

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on NASCAR getting tough on driver AJ Allmendinger after he was charged with DUI: "He can't draft the Budweiser and Miller Lite cars."

Wildcat strike

The NCAA has ordered hotshot Kentucky basketball recruit John Wall to sit out an exhibition game and the team's season opener and repay nearly $800 because of improper perks he received during unofficial college visits, Wildcats athletic director Mitch Barnhart announced.

What, Wall doesn't get to face Campbellsville and Morehead State? The kid must be inconsolable.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com